


There Goes My Life

by arborealstops



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Post-Episode s05e22: A House Is Not A Home, Unplanned Pregnancy, happy fic happy fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26590792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arborealstops/pseuds/arborealstops
Summary: It's the end of season five, except Lorelai's pregnancy scare wasn't a scare and she actuallyispregnant.Also, in true Lucien fashion, I cannot write descriptions.It starts in a kind of weird place, I might write a prequel chapter because it's kind of written with the assumption that both Lorelai and the reader are aware she's pregnant, but without actually including the 'finding out' part.  Technically I wrote the scene, but Ireallydon't like it, so... yeah. :D But hey uh... notice the lack of a Major Character Death warning look at me!  Also Luke'sslightlyOOC in the first chapter but also he's panicked and it's only like a few months after Wedding Bell Blues technically anyway so making comparisons between himself and Christopher wouldn't be all that weird... right?
Relationships: Luke Danes/Lorelai Gilmore
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. - one -

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I have about seventeen playlists that I made while while writing this and none of them fits exactly but ! if you want a spotify playlist or seven that remind me of Luke and Lorelai you can message me on Twitter (gilmorezegler) and I'll share my favorites!! Not all of them are specifically JavaJunkie playlists but they all have songs that remind me of them.

They lay in bed afterward, Lorelai’s mind racing. She’d had too many realizations that night, after Luke had started his ranting about kidnapping Rory and forcing her to go to classes, about him talking about how this was her dream and she couldn’t give up on that just because of a few bad experiences and why on earth had she ever been scared to tell him? 

Now, though, it was even more frightening, if that was possible. Before, she’d almost been afraid he’d run, that he’d say it was too soon and he couldn’t do that with her. He wasn’t Christopher, and she knew that, but this was still a lot to unload on someone you’d only been dating a year.

But now they weren’t dating anymore. Now, they were engaged, and wasn’t that supposed to mean some semblance of normalcy, of familiarity? Shouldn’t things be more calm for them now? Yet here she was, about to mess that up. As though she hadn’t already done so several times that night alone.

“Luke?”

Her voice was soft, and even she could hear the nervousness in her voice. She felt Luke shift against her, heard his questioning grunt, and bit her lip. He deserved to know this, he would be okay with this, this was something she was sure he’d want. Just… not so _soon._ That didn’t change the facts, though, and Lorelai rolled over onto her back, away from him.

“I’m pregnant.”

She had to admit, she hadn’t been sure what his reaction would be, but the initial silence wasn’t all that surprising. Luke had never been the most talkative, usually finding something other than words to express his feelings. But as the silence stretched out, and Luke rolled slightly away from her, Lorelai’s nerves grew.

“Luke?” She rolled on her side, facing him for the first time. But his eyes weren’t on her. Instead, he seemed to be staring up at the ceiling. Her stomach dropped as she softly inquired, “Did you hear-”

“I heard you.”

Lorelai was surprised by the sharpness in his tone. She had anticipated plenty of reactions, from silence and a demand for space to his immediate concern and questioning. But never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that he would be angry when she told him. 

“Luke?” She tried to keep the hurt and confusion out of her voice, but she was sure she’d failed. She was tired, and emotionally a disaster- she’d gone from crying to proposing to telling her now-fiance that she was pregnant, all in the span of a few hours.

His voice was still sharp when he asked, “When?’

Lorelai reached out toward him, holding onto his arm. He’d always been her anchor before, and just touching him made her feel better, even if she was still confused. “You remember the night we went to New York, for the party for the magazine, and we were both a little tipsy when we got home?”

That was an understatement. They’d been a mess, hence the whole ‘all roadblocks down’ situation that had led them here. Still, though, it had been a good night.

She waited anxiously, unsure of when Luke’s real reaction would come through. This couldn’t be all he was thinking, could it? There were so many things she wanted him to say, needed him to say- that this was okay, that he was happy, that he wanted this. But that wasn’t what came out of his mouth.

“How long have you known?” 

Now Lorelai was getting defensive. She’d wanted to be happy about this- she had been happy, had been glad it was Luke because Luke wasn’t Christopher and Luke was better than Christopher and Luke loved her and she loved Luke and why wasn’t he happy, or worried, or something, anything other than mad? “A few days- before Rory decided she was dropping out. Why-”

“Is that why you proposed to me?”

_“What?”_

But Luke was already up, out of the bed, pacing through her bedroom- their bedroom, really. He ran his hands through his hair, looking angry as Lorelai pushed herself up into a sitting position. “Luke, what-”

“You proposed to me because you thought I’d run. Because that’s what _he_ did,” Luke spat. “Do you really think so little of me that you think I’d run just because of a kid? I mean, I know I’ve said stuff in the past, but I thought you knew you meant more to me than that- that _this_ means more to me than that.” He gestured between the two of them, still standing, hunched and angry. "Did you really think you'd have to _stop me_ from leaving?"

“Luke-” Suddenly his anger made sense, and Lorelai realized she had to explain, had to tell him that she'd proposed to him because he _wasn’t_ Christopher, because she loved him and because he’d been there for Rory even when the two of them were fighting and he’d helped both of them in ways that Chris never had or would, and because she wanted this with him, this whole package- the wedding, the marriage, the baby, everything. 

But before she could get the words out, Luke was shaking his head and grabbing a flannel from the closet. 

“I can’t deal with this right now,” was all he said before storming out of the house, leaving Lorelai in their bedroom, more lost now than she’d ever felt in her life.


	2. - two -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is still so short i'm so sorry i haven't gotten full control of the characters yet and wrangling them is a bit more difficult than i expected :/

It took Lorelai a few minutes after she woke up to remember that Luke wasn’t downstairs making coffee. That she’d managed, in one night, to cut ties with her parents, her daughter, and her…

She paused. What was Luke now? Her fiance? Her boyfriend? Her ex? She didn’t know. What she did know was that she was sitting in bed, alone and pregnant for the second time in her life, and somehow less confident in herself this time.

Holding back tears, she rested her hand on her stomach. “Well, kid,” she muttered softly, “I guess it’s just you and me now.”

Then she sighed, climbed out of bed, and made her way to the phone to call the one person who would probably actually speak to her right then.

* * *

“You proposed to Luke?” Sookie’s voice was practically a squeal as she repeated the same thing she’d said probably four times since Lorelai had given her the CliffsNotes version of the last twenty-four hours. “And you’re pregnant?”

Lorelai sighed. “Sookie-”

“But Lorelai, you proposed to Luke! I thought for sure, after you told me about the horoscope, that he’d be the one to propose.”

Lorelai’s shoulders dropped slightly. That horoscope was honestly probably the last thing she wanted to talk about right now. “Yes, Sookie, I proposed to Luke, he said yes, I’m pregnant. But also- we got in a fight, he left, Rory’s dropping out of Yale and living with my parents, with whom I’m not on speaking terms, and, oh, yeah, I’m basically back in the same place I was in 1985, just with better hair.”

“That’s not true.” Sookie’s response was immediate, and somewhat reassuring. “This time, you have a whole town ready to help you from the start, and you have your own house, and you own the inn you work at this time. It’s not the same.”

“It still feels the same, though.”

This time, it was Sookie’s turn to sigh. “Lorelai, we both know that Luke’s not going anywhere. He cares too much about you, and no matter what he said, you know he cares about that baby too.”

Lorelai frowned, staring absently at the blank television as she curled up on the corner of the couch. “I know, Sookie, but everything he said last night- I don’t know whether to be sad, or angry, or hurt, or what. Right now, I honestly just want him to hold me and tell me that everything’s going to be okay, but that doesn’t seem very likely, now, does it?” She sighed again. “It’s just- everything he said last night, it couldn’t be further from-”

She cut off as someone knocked on her door. She stayed silent for a few seconds, hoping whoever it was would go away, then sighed as the knocking grew more insistent. “Sookie, hon, I’m gonna have to go, someone’s knocking on the door. Hopefully they’re here to tell me I won a million dollars and can move to California, what do you wanna bet?” She joked as she stood up, moving toward the door.

“It’s probably only a half a million,” Sookie replied, giggling. “You’ll call me later?”

“Of course. Bye!”

She hung up the phone and walked to the doorway, peering out the peephole before she pulled the door open.

“You don’t look like you’re here to give me a million bucks,” she deadpanned, crossing her arms across her chest. It seemed as though, somehow, she’d settled on a feeling, and that feeling was mad.


End file.
